So...now what?

"You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place. Like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and place because you'll never be this way ever again."

For the past few years I've been dying to start a blog, but have had nothing to write about. I've never studied abroad, I have no wedding or baby to plan for, and I'm not off working some dream job in a more exciting part of the country. I could've written about the endless amount of wonderings going on in my head, but seeing them in print would only be a release for me and utter boredom to everyone else. So what amazing opportunity has come along that has provided this blog creation? Well, to start off with, after 5 years of a lot less "this is the best time of your life" and more "what on earth am I doing?", this happened.

So that was fun. As I sit in my apartment in Ames this summer, I still catch myself panicking over whether or not I really did finish everything for my classes. I even had a dream a week or so back that I failed my Brit Lit class, lost the GPA I spent 5 years trying to attain, and my admissions to UCM was being revoked. I mean, after 5 very very verrryyyyyyy long and stressful and sometimes painful years, 4 different majors, and way too much debt, who could blame me for fearing that?

You grow up being told that as you get older, things get better. High school is better than middle school, and college is supposed to be the best 4 years you'll ever have in your life. But is that really true for everyone? Now I'm not saying the time I spent at Iowa State was all bad. I had many unforgettable experiences. I partook in many great traditions, became even more of a diehard Cyclone fan, found a job that completely changed my life, and met the man I hope to spend the rest of my life with.

However, I don't think those years will be the best of my life. Not by far. Because now that it's all over, I find myself reflecting over all those times I wish I could redo. All those questions running through my mind about what could've made it better, made it the best.

What if I had come in undecided and not declared until I knew for sure?
What if I had joined a different sorority?
What if I had done random roommate?
What if I had tried as hard as I did in high school?
What if I had never met __________?

Austin likes to tell me that people are lucky enough to get a couple "fresh starts" in life. Typically they occur twice: 1) When you go to college and 2) When you get your first job. I'm lucky enough to have 3. Everything I wish I could've done differently at ISU, I will do differently at UCM. I can't stress this enough when I say I can't wait to continue my journey in the life of student affairs. I can't wait to be surrounded by challenges, and opportunities, and people that are just as passionate for this field as I am. I can't wait to absorb every bit of experience I can in order to become successful. I will miss Iowa State and Ames very much. Everything here has helped prepare me for this future, and I will forever bleed Cardinal and Gold, but I'm very excited for this next chapter.

I finally have something that I believe is worth writing about.