Rich at heart.

It's been almost 5 months since I've last written a blog post. When I first started this thing, I didn't want it to be a forced habit. I never expected weekly updates or play-by-plays of my life in Student Affairs. My only expectation was that I would write whenever inspiration hit, whenever something--or someone--affected me so greatly that I could not suppress the urge to write.

As many of you know, I am quite open about my thoughts, feelings, and everyday musings. My sister once told me, "Erica, most people have many thoughts throughout the day that they choose to keep inside because they just aren't necessary to hear. You, on the other hand, say every single one of those thoughts." While that is true, I've found that my experiences in the field of Student Affairs have made me more internal than I ever expected.

This field is very precious to me, as it is to many who have the pleasure of working in it. I work so very closely with so many different types of people that to disclose anything or everything would be not only an invasion of their privacy, but of my own as well. These moments that I have with students and other Student Affairs practitioners are so dear to me, I feel as thought writing about them cheapens them.

"Rich at heart." Throughout this first year in grad school, many of us have joked about our doubt on why we are pursuing a field that requires so much energy and time, yet pays so little. In the end, we all come to the same conclusion: we're rich at heart. We revel and take pride in the fact that at the end of the day, our rewards are much greater than any monetary value one can name. As a generally emotional--or, as I like to say, "passionate"--person, I truly cannot say that I've had one experience that outweighs the other in the heart department. I can only, however, speak upon the most recent.

If you've been following this blog since the beginning (or you're my mother), you know that I once had big dreams of city living in the Northeast. For years I toyed with the idea, and on February 24th, God told me that my time had come. I was hired to be the NODA (Orientation) Intern at the University of the Sciences in Philadelphia.

May 11th. I clearly remember the plane taking off and I letting out a big exhale of excitement and anticipation as I was about to begin an unfamiliar journey. I'd never been this far from home, nor in this part of the country, nor working in this area of Student Affairs. While I never admitted it at the beginning, I was lonely and I was terrified.

I've now been at USciences for 2.5 months. And as I sit at my desk, fresh off 2 weeks of New Student Orientation (and not so fresh off the cost of living in Philly), I truly feel rich. We had our final meeting as an Orientation Leader/Supervisors Team tonight, and I'm feeling a tad raw. In two short weeks, I made connections with student leaders that I am now heartbroken to leave. I had the unforgettable experience of watching--through my tears--each OL speak about the impact this experience has had on him or her. All the while, I cannot find enough words to help them understand what they've done for me.

If you ask any Student Affairs practitioner why they choose to do what they do, most will tell you it's because they want to help students grow and develop over the course of the college experience. Most of us stole that answer from the definition of Student Development Theory. It wasn't until this summer, however, that I truly realized why I love what I do. Do I enjoy helping students? Yes. Do I take pride in watching them succeed and grow on account of my help? Absolutely. But why do I love what I do? Because the students' impact on my growth and happiness is incomparable to what I hope to give to them. And for me, that makes this job priceless.

God's Will

"As much as you want to plan your life, it has a way of surprising you with unexpected things that will make you happier than you originally planned. That's what you call 'God's Will'".

My mom once told me that if I spend my life incessantly planning my future, I won't be leaving any room for God to surprise me, and those surprises are what will make my life better than anything I could have planned. I've said this before, but the older I've gotten, the more sure I've become that my mom is always right.

See, I'm a head-in-the-clouds-heart-on-my-sleeve-dreamer who can never truly be content with the present. Practicality and reality are elusive and unwelcome in my book. Ever since I was a little kid, I wanted to be an adult. I've spent my whole life waiting for life to happen, and it wasn't until very recently that I realized how awful it is to live this beautiful life that way.

On January 24, 2014 I celebrated my golden birthday by turning 24. Growing up, I was so jealous of all the other kids who got to celebrate their golden birthday between the ages of 8-18. "I have to wait til I'm 24...that's so far away...I'm going to be soooo old by then". And surely, I thought, I'd be married and working in the real world. How boring is that??

Yet here I am, fresh off the best birthday I've had to date. As my life has progressed in a way I never imagined, I just can't help but laugh with God at all the times I thought it was sure to go a different way. I'm 24, and I can't tell you when I would've had the time to get married in the past few years. I have known my boyfriend for 3 years now, and wanted to be with him from the first moment I saw him. We would like to get married, but frankly, ain't nobody got time for that. At least not right now. We both need to graduate first.

And that's the other thing, what kid ever says "I want to be in school for the rest of my life when I grow up"? Well, I didn't, but as an adult I'll say that loud and proud. I love being in school. The first day of my Master's degree program, I was dreaming of getting a doctorate one day so I could teach the grad classes I'm currently taking. I love higher education and can't wait to spend the rest of my life caught up in the midst of it.

Yes, I want to be "caught up in the midst" of everything now. My first semester of grad school flew by and it was the best four and a half months of my life. For once, I stopped and told myself "you better slow down and enjoy this because it will be over before you know it, and then you'll just be wishing you were back here again". Because that's my problem. I dream of the future, but then reminisce over the past. Fantasies and nostalgia have become my frenemies.

My new license that I just got expires in 2020 when I turn 30. My first thought was "wow, I'm going to be 30 by then. That's old. Maybe I'll even have kids by then." But I stopped myself. I need to relax and enjoy what I'm doing right now because I will never get to do this ever again. Life will never be exactly the same, and I will never be exactly the same. I don't want to wake up on my 30th birthday sad that I'm not 24 again.

I'm having the time of my life. I am so eternally grateful that God has led me along this path and not the one I planned. So now that my golden birthday has come and gone, something I anticipated for years, my only plan is to enjoy whatever God brings my way. Today is a rare Saturday off, and I plan to get caught up in every moment of it.