"Iowa State Admissions..."

So this post required hardcore digging and creeping...on my own Facebook page of course! For the past 2.5 years, I spent about 20 hours a week answering the phone with the classic "Iowa State Admissions". Over time, I've acquired more than just a love for admissions and customer service, I got some pretty good stories as well! :)

From wishing we had a "reject" button, getting responses of "Hello Iowa State Admissions" or "extension _____", and the glorious moments we spent talking to that one British guy asking for the director, our small but mighty group of 9 had the most exciting job on campus, though the parking division may claim otherwise.

Now before I get all emotional in my ongoing attempt to "hang up the phone" (punny?) on this amazing job, I'll leave you all with this conglomeration of the best calls/moments I can remember. While there are many other great stories from my fellow coworkers, these I got to experience firsthand.

Just had someone calling to ask for the extension office 'cause he wants to find an aquifer. I call horticulture and say that I have someone who wants to get an aquifer and didn't know where to go. Apparently, an aquifer is an underground source of water contained by rock.

Lady: Yeah I'm from Arkansas, is that considered "out-of-state"?
Me: Yes, anything that's not Iowa is out-of-state.

Incoming freshmen called today to verify the admissions address and pronounced "Ames" as "Ah-mes": two syllables, sounds like amen.

Me: Iowa State Admissions
(random jumbling and scrambling)
Me: Hello?
Guy: Hello?
Me: Hi
Guy: Who is this?
Me: This is Iowa State Admissions.
Guy: Oh hi.
Me: Hi
Guy: Did you call me or did I call you?
Me: No you called me.
Guy: Oh oops must've pocket dialed you. Sorry. *Click*

A mother just spelled an email with "n" as in "knife" over the phone today...Oh how I love my job!

Guy: Hi how do you get admission?
Me: to the university?
Guy: This is a university?
Me: Yes this is Iowa State University
Guy: Oh. Yeah how do you get admission?
Me: Well you have to fill out an application first. 
Guy: Oh you have to apply.
Me: Yes, will you be coming from high school or a different college?
Guy: Uhhh...hold on...(talking to someone in background)...Nevermind. Just nevermind. I had my facts wrong. Nevermind. *Click* 

Guy: Yes we're sending our daughter to school there next year and I was wondering where you're located. 
Me: We're in Ames, Iowa.
Guy: Iowa? That's over by Montana right? 
Me: No, it's actually ........(proceed to give geographical explanation)

Lady: Hi we're flying into Ames, I mean Des Moines, since that's where flights come in now, to see the school and go to a football game so I'm wondering what time the game starts so we can book the flights.
Me: Okay what weekend? 
Lady: Nov. 3. The website says "to be announced" for the game but we need to know what time it is 'cause our flight depends on it.
Me: Okay well they typically don't schedule the times for the games until a couple weeks before each one....(this was at least 2 months out)
Lady: Yeah but we're flying in so we need to know now so we know what time to fly. 
Me: Alright well I'd talk to the football or ticket office then and see if they know. 
Lady: Okay can you send me to the ticket office then?

Guy: Hello I applied a few weeks ago and wanted to check the status.
Me: Okay can you spell your name please?
(Proceed to try to look him up, multiple times, respelling and triple checking name to no avail.)
Me: Sir I'm really sorry I can't find you in any of our systems. How did you apply?
Guy: Hmmm, are there other schools in Iowa?
Me: Yes, there's the University of Iowa and the University of Northern Iowa.
Guy: And what cities are those in?
Me: Well the U of Iowa is Iowa City and U of Northern Iowa is Cedar Falls.
Guy: I think it was the Iowa City one. Can you give me their number?

Elderly lady: Yes ma'am, you probably haven't ever gotten a call like this, but I'm from New York and my grandson is attending Ohio State in the fall and I'm gonna make him an afghan and wanted to know what your colors are.
Me: I'm sorry this is actually Iowa State, not Ohio State.
Lady: Oh yeah that's what I meant! Iowa State. 
Me: Okay well our colors are cardinal and gold. 
Lady: Cardinal? Is that like bright red?
Me: Umm, it's not too bright, but not dark either. Like in the middle red. 
Lady: Not like maroon right? 
Me: No more like classic red.
Lady: And gold? Like yellow?
Me: Yes cardinal and gold.
Lady: Okay thank you!      

Me: Iowa State Admissions
Guy: Yes does Iowa State have a college?
Me: Yes this is Iowa State University.
Guy: Well does the university have a college?
Me: Well we have 6 academic colleges within our university.
Guy: Well what are the requirements to come to the college?
Me: You need to meet our general admissions requirements for the university and then you can pick whatever major you want within the colleges.
Guy: So if I didn't get into the university I can't come to the college?
Me: Right, you'd have to meet our university requirements to be able to attend school here.
Guy: Oh...well I didn't get in. So nevermind then."     

And finally, saving the best for last, except maybe Austin being my last call ever. This is coincidentally the most recent as well. 

Me: Iowa State Admissions
Lady: Yes is this the University of Iowa?
Me: No, this is Iowa State University.
Lady: Oh, is that the same as the University of Illinois?
Me: No, Iowa State University, the University of Iowa, and the University of Illinois are three different colleges. 
Lady: Oh, can you help me with the number for the University of Illinois please?
Me: I'm sorry I don't have that number, you may have to Google it.    

Hope this makes you smile or laugh, and if you're ever feeling deprived of a good story or status update from me then you can find them here! :)