Rich at heart.

It's been almost 5 months since I've last written a blog post. When I first started this thing, I didn't want it to be a forced habit. I never expected weekly updates or play-by-plays of my life in Student Affairs. My only expectation was that I would write whenever inspiration hit, whenever something--or someone--affected me so greatly that I could not suppress the urge to write.

As many of you know, I am quite open about my thoughts, feelings, and everyday musings. My sister once told me, "Erica, most people have many thoughts throughout the day that they choose to keep inside because they just aren't necessary to hear. You, on the other hand, say every single one of those thoughts." While that is true, I've found that my experiences in the field of Student Affairs have made me more internal than I ever expected.

This field is very precious to me, as it is to many who have the pleasure of working in it. I work so very closely with so many different types of people that to disclose anything or everything would be not only an invasion of their privacy, but of my own as well. These moments that I have with students and other Student Affairs practitioners are so dear to me, I feel as thought writing about them cheapens them.

"Rich at heart." Throughout this first year in grad school, many of us have joked about our doubt on why we are pursuing a field that requires so much energy and time, yet pays so little. In the end, we all come to the same conclusion: we're rich at heart. We revel and take pride in the fact that at the end of the day, our rewards are much greater than any monetary value one can name. As a generally emotional--or, as I like to say, "passionate"--person, I truly cannot say that I've had one experience that outweighs the other in the heart department. I can only, however, speak upon the most recent.

If you've been following this blog since the beginning (or you're my mother), you know that I once had big dreams of city living in the Northeast. For years I toyed with the idea, and on February 24th, God told me that my time had come. I was hired to be the NODA (Orientation) Intern at the University of the Sciences in Philadelphia.

May 11th. I clearly remember the plane taking off and I letting out a big exhale of excitement and anticipation as I was about to begin an unfamiliar journey. I'd never been this far from home, nor in this part of the country, nor working in this area of Student Affairs. While I never admitted it at the beginning, I was lonely and I was terrified.

I've now been at USciences for 2.5 months. And as I sit at my desk, fresh off 2 weeks of New Student Orientation (and not so fresh off the cost of living in Philly), I truly feel rich. We had our final meeting as an Orientation Leader/Supervisors Team tonight, and I'm feeling a tad raw. In two short weeks, I made connections with student leaders that I am now heartbroken to leave. I had the unforgettable experience of watching--through my tears--each OL speak about the impact this experience has had on him or her. All the while, I cannot find enough words to help them understand what they've done for me.

If you ask any Student Affairs practitioner why they choose to do what they do, most will tell you it's because they want to help students grow and develop over the course of the college experience. Most of us stole that answer from the definition of Student Development Theory. It wasn't until this summer, however, that I truly realized why I love what I do. Do I enjoy helping students? Yes. Do I take pride in watching them succeed and grow on account of my help? Absolutely. But why do I love what I do? Because the students' impact on my growth and happiness is incomparable to what I hope to give to them. And for me, that makes this job priceless.

God's Will

"As much as you want to plan your life, it has a way of surprising you with unexpected things that will make you happier than you originally planned. That's what you call 'God's Will'".

My mom once told me that if I spend my life incessantly planning my future, I won't be leaving any room for God to surprise me, and those surprises are what will make my life better than anything I could have planned. I've said this before, but the older I've gotten, the more sure I've become that my mom is always right.

See, I'm a head-in-the-clouds-heart-on-my-sleeve-dreamer who can never truly be content with the present. Practicality and reality are elusive and unwelcome in my book. Ever since I was a little kid, I wanted to be an adult. I've spent my whole life waiting for life to happen, and it wasn't until very recently that I realized how awful it is to live this beautiful life that way.

On January 24, 2014 I celebrated my golden birthday by turning 24. Growing up, I was so jealous of all the other kids who got to celebrate their golden birthday between the ages of 8-18. "I have to wait til I'm 24...that's so far away...I'm going to be soooo old by then". And surely, I thought, I'd be married and working in the real world. How boring is that??

Yet here I am, fresh off the best birthday I've had to date. As my life has progressed in a way I never imagined, I just can't help but laugh with God at all the times I thought it was sure to go a different way. I'm 24, and I can't tell you when I would've had the time to get married in the past few years. I have known my boyfriend for 3 years now, and wanted to be with him from the first moment I saw him. We would like to get married, but frankly, ain't nobody got time for that. At least not right now. We both need to graduate first.

And that's the other thing, what kid ever says "I want to be in school for the rest of my life when I grow up"? Well, I didn't, but as an adult I'll say that loud and proud. I love being in school. The first day of my Master's degree program, I was dreaming of getting a doctorate one day so I could teach the grad classes I'm currently taking. I love higher education and can't wait to spend the rest of my life caught up in the midst of it.

Yes, I want to be "caught up in the midst" of everything now. My first semester of grad school flew by and it was the best four and a half months of my life. For once, I stopped and told myself "you better slow down and enjoy this because it will be over before you know it, and then you'll just be wishing you were back here again". Because that's my problem. I dream of the future, but then reminisce over the past. Fantasies and nostalgia have become my frenemies.

My new license that I just got expires in 2020 when I turn 30. My first thought was "wow, I'm going to be 30 by then. That's old. Maybe I'll even have kids by then." But I stopped myself. I need to relax and enjoy what I'm doing right now because I will never get to do this ever again. Life will never be exactly the same, and I will never be exactly the same. I don't want to wake up on my 30th birthday sad that I'm not 24 again.

I'm having the time of my life. I am so eternally grateful that God has led me along this path and not the one I planned. So now that my golden birthday has come and gone, something I anticipated for years, my only plan is to enjoy whatever God brings my way. Today is a rare Saturday off, and I plan to get caught up in every moment of it.

Advice with Erica

It's crazy to think that just a year ago I was busy writing cover letters, perfecting my resume, and putting off homework just so I could work on grad school apps. I had no idea where I was going to be in a year, and that thought thrilled and terrified me at the same time. After hours of researching, list making, and list editing, I finally settled on 4 schools. 2 were super competitive, long-shot schools, 1 was my alma mater, and the other was one that my mother had talked me into. "It's got a wonderful program, and it's only 45 minutes away from home. We could get you a little car and you could commute." Needless to say, I wasn't entirely sold on that plan, but the program and GAships looked good so I kept it on the list.

I'm ashamed to say that my fear at that time was "getting stuck" in the Midwest. Now, I wish I had been a little bit more practical and listened to all my mom's advice. You see, she warned me about applying to such big-shot schools. I had the experience, yes, but with flailing around in 4 different majors, well, let's just say I had to put an "Explanation of my GPA" at the end of my personal statement. I guess schools that receive 300 applications for 20 spots don't want a girl chalking up those 50 engineering elective credits as "a lesson learned the hard way."

Regardless, last October, I visited the campus on a quiet Saturday and found myself unknowingly imagining what would be my life here. I even took a Muleskinner (the campus paper) home as a souvenir, and to this day haven't actually read one as a student. A lot of people have asked me lately how my transition has been, so if any of you read this, here's my "advice" for grad school/life in student affairs:

1.) Listen to your mama! Or daddy. Or whoever you know that has that wisdom that only comes with age (even though you don't look it, Mom :) ).

2.) Be practical. I so badly wish I would've applied to only 1 big-shot school. While the rejection letters are flattering, I would've rather had more options. And my 100 bucks back.

3.) Be YOURSELF, not some cookie cutter version of what you think people want. Tell your story. People come into student affairs for a variety of reasons, and I'm not the only person in my program that had to fail time and time again before realizing I could use those negative experiences to help others.

4.) Take time for yourself. This one actually was my mentor's advice for me, but it's definitely true. It's so easy to over-work yourself in grad school, especially when you have a GAship that you love. But it's also easy to freak out & wonder why the heck you're doing this to yourself. Balance is everything.

5.) Remember, this isn't undergrad, so don't act like an undergrad. You are a mature adult now. Don't skip class just because you think you can, & don't procrastinate. Writing a paper the night before it's due will result in a point being docked for APA citations because you typed "and" instead of "&".

I don't want to ramble too much, but this is what I've decided is key with my many many long days of experience :). At the end of the day, I am so happy that I'm temporarily "stuck" here in the Midwest. The beautiful thing about my life in student affairs is that I have no idea where it'll take me, but I know I will love it along the way.

"Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall." F. Scott Fitzgerald

It's the most wonderful time of the year folks! These next 4 months or so are my absolute favorite. For me, nothing beats that first morning waking up knowing that the heat of summer is gone (at least for a brief minute in Missouri), and that colder weather is on it's way. Fall daylight savings time is a close second though :).

Every year, I go back and forth with winter and fall being my favorite seasons. After it snowed on my last day of undergrad classes in May, however, I think I am officially a fall convert (though snow will always hold a special place in my heart). As a kid, even, I halfheartedly looked forward to summer, but the second it was time to check out the "Back to School" section at Target I was raring to go! I have always loved school. My parents may even argue that it's a tad too much since I'll have officially put off the job search for 7 years by the time I graduate. And who knows, that doctorate degree is looking better and better each day :).

This year, however, is especially magical. My last post, I was definitely feeling the stress of trying to adapt to grad school life. A month later, I'm having the time of my life. It's like I'm finally getting that redo of college and am making the most out of it! I have been surrounded by the most wonderful co-workers, friends, and classmates. I know I've said that before, but it's so undeniably true!

I came into grad school hoping to meet a good friend or two, and I've ended up with a couple handfuls! I expected Student Activities to be a great learning experience with Admissions as the end goal. But now, I'm starting to think I've become a Student Activities convert as well! Every single day at work is an adventure. I've done things I never expected to, like running a talent show or becoming the tech expert for My Central or having a creepy Easter bunny interrupt me mid-report at a meeting. The students I get to work with make my days at work, no matter how stressful it may have been, fun and rewarding. Admissions will always be dear to me, but I'm starting to realize how blessed I am to have multiple options and paths to take within this field that I love so much.

So, to kick off these magical months, here's a list of reasons why it's the most wonderful time of the year:

1.) colder weather = snuggling up in boots, scarves, and sweaters
2.) football season--still basking in ISU's win two nights ago
3.) holiday decor = my apartment will be festive non-stop until well after my birthday in January
4.) a holiday each month (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, & my golden b-day!)
5.) pumpkin flavored everything
6.) the best season of candles from Bath & Body
7.) new classes and new school supplies
8.) leaves changing and snow falling
9.) Hocus Pocus in the background at all times
10.) breaks from work and school to spend with loved ones

Frank says it better: the best is yet to come :).

Hump Day

While I try to keep this blog positive, exciting, and emotion-free, I think after a few months I can make an exception-post. For those of you looking for happy, sunshine-y,  "this is so awesome" light reading, look elsewhere (i.e. the last post or two.) Things are about to get REAL. Also, if you want to skip past this vent-session, I've included stage directions/notes. 

(begin 'Rant')

Today was a struggle. A comedian I saw last week for Spotlight joked about how some people have to ride the struggle bus from time to time, and sometimes you're even the one running after said bus because you were too late to get on it. Today, I was that person running. Let's start with this morning. 

Not only did I wake up 2 hours before my alarm, but by the time I fell back asleep I woke up too late to be on time to work. My hair wasn't cooperating, and outfit number 2 didn't really work because of an important piece I left at home, but since there was no third backup outfit (which I've never actually needed to have planned until today), I had to make it work. My microwave decided that today it was just going to run but not heat things, so I had half soggy/lukewarm oatmeal for breakfast, AND I wasn't able to make my pour-over coffee. The latter should've been a sign that I was better off going back to sleep and skipping today. 

Once I finally made it to work, things with the event weren't running as smoothly as hoped. Once we got set up outside, I had to attempt to look professional and put together as my face flushed and dripped in the 200 degree heat index weather.Folks, this was only 10 am. (Sidenote: My iPhone actually overheated later in the day and wouldn't work until I let it cool down. I didn't even know this was a real thing!)  

The 55 pages I sped-read yesterday for my noon class went unused as an APA orientation took place instead. What's worse, I knew about this orientation ahead of time, but had forgotten, so I stressed about reading all those pages anyway. I also had to actually act as a supervisor today for the first time with mine out of the office. Most people think it's fun being in charge, but when everyone is staring at me--the Queen of Indecisiveness--to make a decision, I'd gladly delegate any day. I can only hope that my spontaneous answers were good ones. 

Finally, when writing this post, I attempted to spell "included" with an "e". I got 3rd place in my 6th grade Spelling Bee guys. That might be the most heart-breaking fail of all.

(end 'Rant')

By now I'm sure my boyfriend and my mentor from Iowa State are both a little amused because I'm about to give them a big "you were right, tell me you told me so" moment. Grad school is a LOT of work! I'm literally busy allll the time. On top of the 115 pages I'm expected to read in a day, I also have to actually work. *sigh*

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to spew off a list of complaints, and I definitely haven't changed my mind on loving this whole experience that I am very fortunate to have, but today was just one of those days. This is still just the start, and I'm still trying to figure out my routine. I know there'll be plenty more of these days ahead; they come with any job. But I also am happy that the good days far outweigh the bad. It's like a relationship right? Some days you just want to (figuratively) kill your partner, but you don't because you would miss them.

I hope the rest of you are having a better Wednesday than myself. But if you're not, maybe this will cheer you up. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWBhP0EQ1lA

Burg Bound

WOW have the past two weeks flown by! College may not have been the best years of my life, but I have a feeling these next two years are gonna be one for the books! The past two weeks have been so hectic and I've loved every minute of it. Here's a little recap:

I spent an amazing 4 days in Illinois with Austin and his family. I was SO nervous meeting his parents at the airport, but those nerves quickly disappeared :). Words cannot describe how much I loved those few days there, and it was definitely hard to leave! But after returning home I had about one day to gather allll my clothes and shoes and other miscellaneous belongings before moving to Warrensburg for good. For the first time I was completely nerve-free on the drive!

Now, the business cards, name tag, and polo have arrived, and I have been an official employee for the past week! The google calendar is color coded and packed to the max (goodbye social life! ;) ). But the past week of training has been such a fun learning experience. I am so blessed to have this opportunity to step out of my comfort zone, and to be surrounded by some awesome coworkers (that includes my 5 new undergrad advisees!).

Class starts this Wednesday and I feel quite prepared after adjusting to my minimal sleep schedule. Rachel found her dress yesterday, so the Maid of Honor duties will come rolling in soon as well and I could not be more excited! I don't think I've stopped moving, and probably won't anytime soon, but all is well :).

What an IMPACT!!!

The last post I did NOT want to write at all, but this one I've been looking forward to all week!!! It's funny how the past few times I've been en route to Warrensburg, I've been excited but extremely nervous, but once I'm there I never want to leave! Even in March when I was there for interviews I couldn't get over the "homey" feeling the campus evokes.

These past 4 days I got to help make sure the IMPACT retreat--which is a leadership retreat for incoming freshmen--ran smoothly. Everyone kept telling us newbie GA's that we were being "thrown to the wolves" having to help work this event with little training, but I absolutely LOVED it!! Thanks to my obsession with personality tests/quizzes, I've discovered in the past that I work best when I just jump right into something and figure it out as I go, and this event was the perfect time to test that. And even though the week wore me out pretty good, I can't wait to do it again. It felt so good just to be working again, especially with some pretty wonderful people! The retreat definitely made an impact on me, and now I know the next time I go back to Warrensburg the nerves will be left at home :).

Here are a few of the highlights and lessons that I didn't expect to learn from the first few days on the job:

• You get to learn campus real quick when you're driving a golf cart back and forth across
• ALWAYS check the toilet for unnamed cockroach/beetle/crustacean/even-the-"I have no problem with bugs"-girl-gets-freaked-out-by bugs
• Keep it simple when building a boat out of cardboard and duct tape
• Patience is key, especially when your 2 BR apt goes to a 1 BR for 3 people at the crack of midnight (no glass slippers were lost in the move)
• If you want to see the President, you better be able to stand for 5 hours
• 4 grad students and an engineer got stumped by a sound speaker 
• Never turn down drinks when the waitress gives a low "ish" price
• Talking in a megaphone is a once in a lifetime experience 
• Don't doubt a girl's capability or seriousness in finishing a 1/3 of a gallon of ice cream
• AND long days end best when you can talk it out with other GA's 

Now, in all seriousness, there were a lot of important lessons I learned that I plan to incorporate into these next two years at UCM, and in life. The big ones are: patience, being ready for anything, an endless positive attitude, and perseverance.

In other news, I now have a few days to wind down before I get to fly out to Illinois and see Austin and meet his family! Then it's back to the Burg for good! :) Below are a few pictures though of my new office and apartment!

Best part of the apartment: I get two closets!!! Roll your eyes all you want, but this is exciting people!

He insisted on being in the pictures, but thanks to him and Nate I got all set up really well :)

And now I'm home with this beautiful face, in her typical attention-getting position of course.